How to make Fairy Bread
Seems simple, right?
Grab some bread and sprinkles, and Stripe's your uncle.
Not quite. Traditions should be followed. This is an important part of your celebration and should be treated with the sweet respect it deserves.
Step One:
The bread. Not any old bread will do. It should be super fresh, extra fluffy, and absolutely must be white bread. None of this fancy, healthy stuff. We don't want your low-gi, extra vitamins and minerals here.
Step Two:
Butter. Real butter. Margarine? Nope. Canola spread? No. The cholesterol lowering one that promises it tastes like real butter? Nay (p.s. it tastes nothing like real butter).
Real butter. Yellow, creamy, savoury goodness. And by goodness I don't mean good for you, I mean it tastes like it'll go straight to your hips.
Step Three:
The sprinkles. By now you're probably thinking, c'mon, they're just little bits of sugar, right?
Wrong.
You have to get proper 100's and 1000's. The tiny, sugary balls that are so hard they'll crack the tooth filling you've had since high school if you're not careful. The ones that leave bright blue and red marks on your hands. That end up all through your kitchen, no matter how careful you thought you were.
Step Four, The Assembly:
Lay out your slices of bread, and spread butter right to the edge of each slice. Not 5 millimetres from the edge, not even 2 millimetres in. Alllll the way to the edge. Don't skimp on the butter, either. I want a nice thick layer of that creamy goodness.
Once you're sure your butter is right, it's time to sprinkle. Personally, I like an 80% coverage of sprinkles. I still like to see tiny patches of butter peeking through the layer of rainbow balls. This part's a personal choice though, experiment with your sprinkling.
Sprinkles done? Fantastic. Now it's cutting time. Firstly, cut off the crusts.
But, but, but... why did I butter and sprinkle all the way to the edges just to cut them off? I hear you exclaim. Never fear, there's method behind my madness. Take the crusts and set them aside on a separate plate.
Now, take your crustless bread slices and cut each slice into four triangles. Not squares. Not big triangles. Small quarter triangles. Perfectly sized triangles of carbs.
I like to stack mine on a plate haphazardly, but you can line them up all pretty if you like.
You're done! Now watch the kids, and big kids alike, enjoy this treat that seems to make no sense, and yet all the sense in the world.
Wait, what about those crusts? Well, now it's time for you to make a cuppa and enjoy the bits the kids turn their noses up at, but that are just as delicious as the rest, all to yourself.